So much has happened since I last wrote that I find it pointless to even try to summarize all of the significant episodes. The important details will just have to come in quietly, on their own, at different times.
I went to the new and improved MoMA the other day. I had no idea it had been closed for renovations all Spring and Summer but I guess it had just reopened in October. I had heard it was much much larger and more interesting so I took the train up at about 1pm and got out at Bryant Park so I could walk up 6th Avenue. I brought my camera incase I had a fleeting moment of inspiration to take photos. To my surprise, I was very inspired by all of the people on the street and did in fact start taking photos. Everyone, all the 9-5'ers, the tourists, the middle-aged European long faced couples, nurses and teenagers looked exceptionally stylish. It wasn't until I reached MoMA that it came to my attention that there was no film in the camera.
I was very overwhelmed by the new MoMA. It was the same but different. The walls were moved around and the ticketing desks were in strange places leaving me disoriented like a dream where you can't walk in the direction you are trying to walk in. It was hot in the museum and I took off my scarf and coat and started up the first set of stairs. I don't like museums, I get overwhelmed trying to see everything yet at the same time, looking at art usually bores me. I like pictures and moving images and collages and some paintings. I waited in line for 2 hours at the Pompidou in Paris one time only to leave after 10 minutes because it truly does make my skin crawl. I of course like art but something about large contemporary museums make me angry.
I stormed through the entire museum, or so I think. I'm not sure if I missed a room but I walked through every room I did see an entrance to. I looked at the sculpture garden through a window in a room with some Yoko Ono pieces about, well, peace. I found Monet's Water Lillies. They always make me think of Sex and the City when Charlotte becomes a tour guide at MoMA and sees her ex-mother-in-law, Bunny, criticizing the Monets. I saw something Andy Warhol made, I think. I like Magritte's paintings. I saw the one that has the plate, the cup and a fork and a knife. It looks like a normal still-life but if you get closer, you can see an eyeball wedged into the ceramic plate. I like photographs of people and there were some of those scattered around. I like photos in general, especially when they're blown up all big. I love seeing Deana Lawson's photos printed largely.
I left MoMA and went to Chick-Fil-A. I waited in line behind all the antsy people on their late lunch breaks. I had a classic chicken sandwich with waffle fries and a large coke. I fisted my hand into the box of mayonnaise packets and put my other hand in the hot sauce. I ate my food in Bryant Park and read for an hour and half. I tried to listen in on a conversation near me because I overheard "Harvey Weinstein" being thrown back and fourth with sympathy and wanted to hear why they sounded so pleased to say his name.
I've been sleeping in Ridgewood lately at my friend's apartment. She usually sleeps at mine in Chinatown but to be a fair friend, I have been taking the trek out to hers. It does, however, make more sense to sleep at mine considering we both work within spitting distance from my apartment. Neither of us have any business in Ridgewood other than to sleep. The early morning serenity of Ridgewood is rather nice, though. I wake up before my friend and head to a coffee shop around the corner at around 7:30 and then at around 9, I will text everyone I know who lives in Ridgewood and invite them to come have coffee with me and talk shit. Or, as expected, I just run into other people by happenstance and they sit with me. Zoe came to me the other morning and told me to read a book called FEMALES by Andrea Long Chu. It's short and new. I read it in just two 30 minute sittings. I finished it yesterday morning and went to McNally Jackson to find something new to read. As I walked in, there was a poster on the door advertising FEMALES and that Andrea Long Chu would be speaking that night at 7:30pm. What a coincidence, I thought. I meandered around the store and eventually I chose Annie Dillard's, PILGRIM AT TINKER CREEK. As I was checking out, I flirted with one of the employees. He always compliments me in some way. The other day it was my socks and yesterday my book choice. He asked me if I would come to the talk that night and I said maybe. He said he was planning on sticking around for it. I never ended up going but am now realizing maybe I should have. I had wine instead.
I started Hormone Replacement Therapy about 2 weeks ago. It's been kind of strange but not by any means shocking. I was expecting it to be scary but its not. The most annoying change is the occasional stomach cramps but otherwise my life feels entirely normal. I'm happy I have refrained from drawing a line of 'pre-hormones' and 'post-hormones'. The only reason I believe I can do that comfortably is because truly not much is changing in my social life and I let that privilege be without argument. I'm not coming out to anyone's surprise, heck, I'm not even coming out at all. I'm just taking a pill and my face is getting prettier. That's all it seems to be for me, for now. Who knows, maybe I don't know whats coming but at least I can have that thought to keep me on my toes. My first day back from Mexico was a bit scary but Ethan helped me back to normalcy. I had been in my bedroom and felt it wasn't my room and that my friends weren't my friends. That all went away by spending time with my friends and eating at my favorite restaurant and buying nice new socks.
I'm excited for a snowy evening soon, I bought a mink fur coat with a matching fur hairband. I am itching to wear it in the dark. I bought the coat from a large Russian woman named Angela on 2nd and 2nd. She always has the best selection of coats and dresses. My friend bought a great Missoni dress there one time, and some Prada boots as well. Its fairly priced and you have to sort through a good amount of forgettable things but there is always something worth at least trying on.
I smelled jasmine in the air the other day and was shortly teleported back to Berlin in late March.
-m.
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