:t:o:o: :b:a:d:

Was doing very well for a few weeks. Was feeling confident and sure of myself - stable? Fell off whatever concrete platform I was standing on and now I'm feeling as though I'm standing on glass again. Noticed that after every interaction I had last night, I would feel very regretful of the things I said. I only said one bad thing, I think, about my best friend. I wish I hadn't said it and I knew as I was saying it that I shouldn't but it just fell out quicker than I could think to stop myself. Afterwards felt very unnattracted to myself. Wondering how this side comes out - what happened? 48 hours ago felt genuinely clear and independent. Catching myself falling and walking in straight lines, finding pleasure in very many things little and large, listening more and talking less - was a niceshort era that unfortunately seems to have ended last night. Too bad! 

-m.